tell me something true

you don't have to feel every single thing you write

2024 is knocking at our doors. It is bitterly cold where I am, and I have had to bring out my giant puffer. This winter, besides testing my soft California body, has also been far more active than last year. There is plenty going on behind the scenes for Women of Good Fortune, and in the midst of it all, I’m trying to pull together a readable draft of a second book. There’s also the drama that has been happening in the book world, which has somehow made its way to the mainstream. All I can say around that is: support POC authors. Pre-order the books of those who were affected.

As writers, we sometimes cling to emotional highs and lows because we think that’s the only way we can write. How can our words be powerful if they are not injected with the full force of our despair or rage? I was concerned about that, for a time. The belief that I could only write certain things if I had experienced them myself. But the more in tune I’ve gotten with my emotions, the more I’ve realized that being in a bad mental place is not good for my writing. It hurts my consistency, and while it may lead to a quick burst of inspiration for a few scenes, it will not culminate in a full book. That requires patience, perseverance, and a surgeon’s scalpel.

I took a meditation class this semester, and the course equipped me with some useful tools for dealing with these hurricanes of brief but sharp emotion. One of them has gotten me to reflect more on the individual moments of each day. Essentially, you sit down with a partner, who asks you to “tell me something true” for 3-5 minutes. That is a long time to be thinking of truths, and you can surprise yourself with the things that come out of your mouth. In the mix of more surface-level comments about how I was sleepy and wanted a hot bowl of soup, were deeper themes: my constant worrying about my family, my constant state of confusion about what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, that sort of fun, light stuff. I realized when you take the time to reflect, that can energize creativity in different ways and help you uncover the things that you deeply care about. You don’t need to go through a terrible breakup or a death to be able to write it into a book. You certainly don’t need to murder someone to write a thriller. The understanding will come slower, and you’ll have to do the hard work and research. But that can be part of the fun.

As the year comes to an end, I want to reflect on the things that are true for me now:

1. Reading and writing are still the two things that help me lose track of time, and nothing compares to the feeling of holding a physical book and rubbing pages between your fingers. I am lucky enough to have read several incredible books in a row: The Vanishing Half, Demon Copperhead, Tom Lake. It’s reinvigorated my love for storytelling.

2. After being plunged back in the Hunger Games world with the release of Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, I miss the younger me whose emotions were so much squishier and malleable, and how some of the books I read while young had the power to move me deeply.

3. Philadelphia in the autumn was truly beautiful. There’s nothing quite like running in the crisp coolness and seeing the yellow trees lurching up around you. The Schuylkill is kind of dirty but there’s something soothing about having a body of water to pace you.

4. I’m so used to supermarket apples (I splurge and get Honeycrisps sometimes), but recently I bought a variety of apples from a farmer’s market, and the crunch and tartness were beyond compare. I wonder if I’ve been missing out on something extraordinary and delightful my whole life.

5. I do not know how to celebrate success. I feel as if I cannot live without achievement, but even when I have it, I don’t know what to do with it.

6. The future feels more unstable than ever. I see so many paths unfurling in front of me, and I don’t think I am at a point in my life anymore where I can just choose the most convenient thing and expect that the trajectory of my life will be unaltered.

7. I’m grateful for my friends, and I think I have reached a point where I am no longer overthinking where I rank on someone’s “favorite people” list. But I still want to know how I can be better. I want to be able to ask them better questions and be fully present in the time we have together.

8. Nights out are fun, but the morning after can make the whole thing not worth it. I wonder if having a few brief, glittering hours is sufficient recompense for my brain melting.

9. I crave stability. I constantly think about having a home that is more than a short-term stay and all the appliances I can fill it with. Also, non-IKEA furniture.

10. No matter what, I will keep writing. This, of all things, I hope to be true.

    Now, it’s your turn. Tell me something true.

WOMEN OF GOOD FORTUNE UPDATES

We are finalizing book launch details, and I’m trying and failing to imagine being surrounded by copies of my book and officially being a published author. One of the random and wild things about being an author is watching as more and more people end up CC’d on your emails. Also, the idea that people will know who I am before I know who they are.

Something I wrote today:

“She’s here!” Kimberly calls, and suddenly she’s rising up, up, above the heads, and then jolting down the walkway to be next to Priya. Now, she’s looking at a bunch of faces. She recognizes every one of them. She and Priya sat down with every single new hire, learned about their lives, and made sure they understood what OurSpot was really for. This time, she would not waste the chance to bring on people who truly cared.